| Location | Newcastle Upon Tyne |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 18/05/2009 |
| Date of Death | 18/05/2009 |
| Visitors | 2,958 since 04/06/2009 |
| Creator |
It was 7th sept 2008 when I took the test, a faint line that I didn’t quite believe, so I did 2 others.
But it was true you were here.
I had wished for you so hard, never saying out loud that I wanted you, just hoping you would eventually come.
A week later daddy and I went to Mexico, I only told Aunty Emma you were here, and I asked her if I could fly?
I ate so many bananas, there.
I felt so hungry all the time, and felt quite sick sometimes too.
But I was careful, I didn’t drink, I didn’t eat anything that would make you not safe.
I knew I had to look after you. You were special.
You were mine.
When we got home we told your grandparents, they were so happy, Grandma Joan wanted you to be a girl and I did at first. I was convinced you were.
At the 12 week scan daddy looked so amazed. I don’t think he thought you were real. Everything was fine.
Then by the 20 week scan we told the lady we needed to know whether you were boy or girl.
She said “Mr winky is flashing at you†me and daddy giggled, I think we were both shocked!
After thinking you were a girl for so long, I realised that a boy was what I really wanted, I was so very happy.
I called you Lumpy.
As you grew in my tummy my bum grew as big, I didn’t care.
I was always hungry and we knew you would be a big boy.
You loved it when I ate refreshers and sherbet sweets, you kicked so much.
At work I thought it was really funny when Base hunter came on the tellies and you kicked mummy like you were dancing. I would dance with you.
You just loved music.
Daddy was still scared, he never felt you kick inside my tummy, but I knew he was excited.
On the 19th December, while I was in the bath I got an electric shock up my arm, we were both so worried it had harmed you, so I went to A&E.
They checked me over but you were fine.
After that I was scared to go in the bath alone so daddy would sit on the loo seat and play guitar. He was just learning through the barricades.
Every bath after that you stayed so still, I knew you felt worried and I really thought you’d be a terrible teenager never washing!
I got so big that I was really tired but I carried on working, at about 32 weeks I cut my hours down at work… to 35 not a huge jump but it made the travel easier.
At the end of 36 weeks I left work I had put in 3 wks hols and kept as much mat leave as possible for when you got here, I wanted to spend so much time with you.
At 37 weeks on the Tuesday I had a midwife app. Mena said you were breech so on the wed Wednesday went for a scan, she was right.
We talked to the ladies, they were great, and we decided to have ECV (external cephalic version). It’s where they turned you by pushing you round, they gave me a muscle relaxer injection in my arm and 5 mins later put her hands on my tummy on your head n your bum and pushed.
It was strange but defiantly not painful.
It took 5 mins if that!
Afterwards they monitored your heart rate for an hour; it sat on the line of being too high and didn’t come down
I went away for some lunch then back again for an hour and it was still the same, so we all agreed that your heart rate was naturally fast, and you were not in distress.
A week later I took part in a survey about why I had it done and what had helped me decide. I felt really positive about the whole thing and would have recommended it to the world...
If I had known then you were going to be 9lb7oz I wouldn’t have bothered to have it done, I would have taken a section! You would still be here.
A week later in the bath again I felt you move quite dramatically, I was so worried you had turned again, so I went back to the assessment centre, Paula checked and all was fine, it was your knees curled up and sticking out.
She checked the cord blood flow and your heart rate and told me you’d be about 7 or 8 lbs
My birthday passed and I was so huge I didn’t want to celebrate; daddy bought me a box of chocs that he ate.
Every day I waited, every niggle I thought is that it?
Then on the sat me and daddy went shopping, it was the first thing WE bought together for you, a little multi gym with safari animals. We talked to the lady in the shop, that’s the first time we agreed to call you Alfie.
We watched the Eurovision that night and you didn’t dance much, I thought you must be sleeping.
On Sunday daddy went for a bike ride with the boys.
I didn’t notice you were still, until tea time. I really just thought I’d missed movements.
By 4 am on Monday 18th I was worried. But trying not to stress. I really thought I was being silly. And this is what happened before babies were born.
I sat in the chair and watched a lonely magpie fly onto our roof and away, back and forth for an hour.
I am sure he was mocking me
By 8 am I was on the phone to my midwife, she said go straight in.
When I sat in the seat and she couldn’t find your heart beat I knew you were gone, I didn’t need them to say it when they scanned me.
I heard her tell your daddy in the corridor.
I cried black tears on his white top.
I prayed she was wrong.
I couldn’t phone your granny, I knew how sad she’d be. Granddad hung up on me. I knew he was so shocked.
I told the lady I wanted a section. They would not send me home and make me wait!
It took hours for them to agree, I know they had to try to change my mind, but I knew it was the right decision.
Fiona came and cried with me, she stroked my hair as I looked into daddys eyes when I was lying on the table.
I felt Jason pull you out, not pain just the emptiness after.
16.16pm
After when I was back in my room, I held you and told you how much I love you. How I’d never loved this much before.
I wanted to put you back inside me.
I can’t describe the feeling of love, elation and utter panic all at once.
I found it hard to believe you were mine.
You lit up the room.
I was alone with you the next day and we danced for the first time, with you in my arms, I sang to you…. Nickleback’s far away. That’s our song now.
And every time I dance now, I think of you, you are the music in my life, my precious Baby boy.
6 weeks later the meeting with Jason showed it was a foetal maternal haemorrhage that took you away, a vessel in the placenta had burst, and you had bled out quickly, your blood flowed into my veins and you fell asleep.
Jason said it was within 48 hours before your birth, that means the Saturday or Sunday.
We have been so sad because you went away; daddy is just so sad that he didn’t get to know you. Watch over him.
Just know that I love you.
We love you and I will see you in my dreams.
Gone from my sight, but not from my heart.
i never saw your eyes or saw your smile,
i only wish you had stayed a while.
i miss you more each day.
♫♫ HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS ALFIE ♫♫
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♫ Happy Birthday To You ♫
♫ Happy Birthday To You ♫
♫ Happy Birthday Dear Alfie ♫
♫ Happy Birthday To You ♫
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFIE
**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ*THOSE WE LOVE **ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Birthday Remembrance
Thinking of you on your birthday Alfie
But that is nothing new
For no day dawns and no day ends
Without a thought of you.
We cannot send a birthday card,
Your hand we cannot touch,
But God will take our greetings
To the one we love so much.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFIE
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bigs hugs from me to you and your family
and friends that you miss you ever day but
in our hearts forever you will not be forgotin
all my love hugs and xxxx from me Sylvie
mommy of Samantha Belanger and
Granddaughter of Albert and Marie-Jeanne
Belanger take care bye for now.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ*THOSE WE LOVE **ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**ღ**
Today is my birthday...
╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮
â•â•â•â•â•╔╗╔╗â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•
â•â•â•â•â•║╚â•â•‘â•â•╦╦â•╦╦â•╦╗╔╗â•â•â•â•â•
â•â•â•â•â•║╔╗║â•â•║╔╗║╔╗║║║║â•â•â•â•â•
â•â•â•â•â•║║║║╚â•║╚â•║╚â•║╚â•â•‘â•â•â•â•â•
â•â•â•â•â•╚â•╚╩â•â•╣╔â•╣╔â•╬â•â•—â•‘â•â•â•â•â•
â•â•”â•â•╗╔╗â•â•â•╔╬╬╗╚â•â•║╦â•â•â•â•â•â•â•
â•║╔╗╚╬╬╦â•╦â•╚╣╚â•╦â•â•â•‘â•â•╦╗╔╗â•
â•â•‘â•”â•â•—â•‘â•‘â•”â•╩╗╔╣╔╗║╔╗║â•â•â•‘â•‘â•‘â•‘â•
â•║╚â•â•â•‘â•‘â•‘â•â•║║╣║║║╚â•║╚â•║╚â•â•‘â•
â•╚â•â•â•â•©â•©â•â•â•╚â•â•©â•╚╩â•â•â•©â•â•╬â•â•—â•‘â•
â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•â•╚â•â•â•â•
╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮
Today is my birthday
Celebrate my life with you
And remember the good times
Forget the bad.
Look up towards the sun
And catch every ray of light
Upon your cheek.
For I am there with you.
Today is my birthday,
Be happy for me.
My life was full.
I had the pleasure of love
And the joy of my family.
Do not be sad
Look up towards the stars
And catch each twinkle
In your heart.
For I am there with you
╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮
Today is my birthday
My legacy is not wealth
Or mighty belongings,
My legacy is you and your life.
Spend it wisely and carefully,
Guard it always.
Do not be sad.
Feel the wind on your face
And in your hair
And know that I loved you
For I am there with you in your laughter
And in your hearts.
╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮
Today is my birthday,
Learn to live again without me.
Take my strength with you
For you are not alone.
Do not be sad
Feel the rain on your face
Feel all life's treasures and
Know that you are alive!
At each step of the way
I will help you
For I am with you always
Until we meet again.
Today is my birthday...
unknown all my love
Sylvie
╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱╮╰⊰✲ ⤠✲⊱
BIG HUGS ALFIE
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
♥ * . ♥ * .
⋱♰⋰ Angel Day ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Your Angel Day in Heaven ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Many tears will fall for you ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ You touched so many loving hearts ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ There’s so many missing you ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ As you now live in paradise ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Its Heaven up above stay ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Close to all your loved ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ ones For it’s you they ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ miss and love ⋱♰⋰
.
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
⋱♰⋰ bigs hugs from me to you and your ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ family and friends that you miss you ever day ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ but in our hearts forever you will not be ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ forgoten you take care love from me ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Sylvie mommy of Samantha Belanger ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ and Granddaughter of Albert and ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Marie-Jeanne Belanger take care ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ hugs and XXXX bye for now good ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ night ⋱♰⋰
♥ * . ♥ * .
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ .
♥ * . ♥ * .
....Goodnight and God Bless..........
☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆
....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆
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Sleep Tight......X X
☆....☆....☆....☆....☆....☆
ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ . ♥ * . ♥ * . * ღ .* ღ ღ* ღ
♥ ♥ ♥ Angel Day bigs hugs from me to you and your family and friends that you miss you ever day but in our hearts forever take care love you bye for now hugs love from me.♥ ♥ ♥
♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥.•**•..
â•”â•â•╗╔╗─╔╗╔â•â•â•â•—â•”â•â•â•╗╔╗──╔â•â•╗─╔â•â•╗╔╗╔╗
║╔╗║║╚â•â•â•‘â•‘â•”â•â•â•â•‘â•”â•â•â•║║──║╔╗╚╗║╔╗║║║║║
║╚â•║║╔╗─║║║╔â•╗║╚â•â•╗║║──║║╚╗║║╚â•║║╚â•â•‘
║╔╗║║║╚╗║║║╚╗║║╔â•â•â•║║──║║─║║║╔╗║╚â•â•—â•‘
║║║║║║─║║║╚â•â•║║╚â•â•╗║╚â•╗║╚â•â•║║║║║─╔â•â•‘
╚â•╚â•╚â•─╚â•╚â•â•â•â•╚â•â•â•â•╚â•â•â•╚â•â•â•â•╚â•╚â•─╚â•â•
⋱♰⋰⋱♰⋰ Angel Day ⋱♰⋰⋱♰⋰ Copyright Sandy⋱♰⋰⋱♰⋰
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♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥.•**•..
God took you gently by the hand,
On wings of love to another land,
Nestled in the clouds up high,
Eternal life he gave you in the sky,
The ones left behind have broken hearts,
Oh they did not want you to depart,
One day you will all meet again,
Saving a place and no more pain,
On wings of love in Heaven above,
Our hearts are filled with lots of love,
Never more then a heart beat away,
Gone too soon,but loved and remembered
every single day.
♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥.•**•..
Our Precious Child
._./''\._...•ღ***ღ•.*.•ღ***ღ•..
.\*•. .•*/.ღ*..*..αηgєℓ..*..*ღ
./.•*.*•.\...•ღ***ღ•.*.•ღ***ღ•.
*.. ..*....*
GONE TOO SOON
♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥ .•**•.. ♥♥.•**•..
We hold our angels in our heart, always to love and never to part.Happy Angel Day, love Sylvie
☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥ ♥ ☆
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☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥ ♥ ☆
Sending you lots of Love on your Angel Day
Stay close to all who Love and miss you sweetheart,
Love always,Sylvie xxxxx
☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥ ♥ ☆
This day will be a celebration
Of the short time you were here.
You will always be remembered
With great love and many tears.
But to only feel pain and sorrow
Would not be fair to you.
Your life meant so much more to us,
More than words could say.
You were here so briefly,
I wonder if you knew
All the ways you’ve touched
Our world and our hearts
And everyone who knew you
Since the day God called you home.
Now my child, you’re an Angel
With your heavenly Father above,
We see not only what we’ve lost
But our capacity of love.
There will always be a big void
In our life and a hole in our
Hearts that will never heal.
Our souls will grieve forever.
Will we forget or stop loving you?
No! Not now…not ever.
Special Angel Day - by Sam & Gordon Winson
☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥☆ ♥ ♥ ☆
☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞
...............................ANGEL DAY
☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞
.............................Today is very special,
...........................It comes by once a year.
.....................It’s the day you went to Heaven
.......................And the day you left me here.
☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞
.........................I know I should be happy,
....................You’re in your Heavenly home.
.......................But instead I feel so empty
............................And oh so all alone.
☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞
........................Yes, today is very special
.......................The day you grew your wings.
..........................You left so very quickly
........................You didn’t take your things.
☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞
.......................Instead you left me crying,
.........................Yet hoping all the while
......................That someday I’ll remember
..........................This date with a smile.
.....................Copyright â“’2011Vicki Hansen
………….http://www.vickihansen.wordpress.com/
☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞☜♡☞
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⋱♰⋰ Angel Day ⋱♰⋰
*******************
⋱♰⋰ Your Angel Day in Heaven ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Many tears will fall for you ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ You touched so many loving hearts ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ There’s so many missing you ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ As you now live in paradise ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Its Heaven up above ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ Stay close to all your loved ones ⋱♰⋰
⋱♰⋰ For its you they miss and love ⋱♰⋰
copyright© Vicky Deaville
⋱♰⋰*********⋱♰⋰*********⋱♰⋰
â•”â•â•╗╔╗─╔╗╔â•â•â•â•—â•”â•â•â•╗╔╗──╔â•â•╗─╔â•â•╗╔╗╔╗
║╔╗║║╚â•â•â•‘â•‘â•”â•â•â•â•‘â•”â•â•â•║║──║╔╗╚╗║╔╗║║║║║
║╚â•║║╔╗─║║║╔â•╗║╚â•â•╗║║──║║╚╗║║╚â•║║╚â•â•‘
║╔╗║║║╚╗║║║╚╗║║╔â•â•â•║║──║║─║║║╔╗║╚â•â•—â•‘
║║║║║║─║║║╚â•â•║║╚â•â•╗║╚â•╗║╚â•â•║║║║║─╔â•â•‘
╚â•╚â•╚â•─╚â•╚â•â•â•â•╚â•â•â•â•╚â•â•â•╚â•â•â•â•╚â•╚â•─╚â•â•
Thinking of you
Hi darling, just sitting today and thinking of you and mummy as I do most days. Sending you huge hugs and kisses, keep looking over your little sister sprinkle a little naughtiness on her, Love and miss you little boy XXXX
A Birthday In Heaven - by Kris Smith
I heard you crying yesterday,
And felt your heart-sent love.
So I’m sending you this message
Now, from Heaven up above.
You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate
My Birthday (way up here).
I know you’re missing me today
I feel your essence near.
God planned a special day for me,
He told me with a wink.
He’d ordered me a special cake
(It’s Angel food, I think).
Balloons will fill the streets for me,
They float up through the clouds.
And we have lots of friends up here
That make us laugh out loud.
There is a Birthday carousel,
Jewelled horses ride the wind,
With music playing, oh so sweet…
The magic never ends.
I’ve made so many friends, you see
We laugh and play and sing.
We ride our bikes and play jump rope
And sleep in Angel’s wings.
We’ll have our cake and ice cream
And open gifts - SURPRISE!
But we don’t blow out our candles here
Instead, they light the skies.
With love from your little Angel XX

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